(excerpt from Liz’s Spring Newsletter from 2019)
Lately I have been thinking a lot about “forgiveness”. Over my years of sitting in circles with others, I have had many realizations about the word “forgiveness.” Many spiritual teachers and teachings talk about letting go of anger and suffering from experiences involving others that we feel hurt or wronged by. They make it sound so simple, “Just let it go!” Just let go of the abandonment, the betrayal, pain and suffering, physical, emotional and otherwise. “Just let it go!” How on earth do we do that? As I have asked myself that question over my years and sat in circles with many others asking that exact question of themselves, one thing I have learned for sure, is however I begin to move towards forgiveness, which is my own healing, it must be true for me.
In my opinion, forgiveness does not come overnight. It is a big intent to heal towards forgiveness and a big ask, to seek someone’s forgiveness. I know forgiveness comes in stages and that we are solely responsible for taking the steps to free ourselves (yes ourselves!) from the suffering we deem others have caused. Forgiving another does not mean we agree with their actions taken. What forgiving others can do is reclaim our empowerment from the experience. To continue to be victimized by the experience, tells us it still has power over us. Forgiving takes us to our personal freedom.
I would like to share some steps I have learned that really helped me in my forgiveness practices.
- I take responsibility for my life exactly as it is now and honour (not reject) all my feelings about it. This can lead to less projection onto others and the expectation that its someone else’s responsibility to “fix” things for me.
- Be open to the lessons being offered through the experience I am having, and share them with someone I trust. When we can accept the lessons, as difficult as they may be, it is an opportunity to awaken, not punish. The Toltecs teach that this is when your parasite becomes your ally.
- Know that we are all seeking love, even though under the circumstances this may be very difficult to see through someone else’s actions. Without awareness, the wounded young self within all of us, can cause so much hurt and damage through unconscious actions. When we can begin to glimpse this perception, the door to compassion begins to open.
I wish you all a beautiful renewal time as we enjoy the spring season!
I send each of you my love,